On the day of my trip to Nara, I felt very bad. Things at home went from bad to worse and I was alone in a this foreign country, usually uncomfortable and starving but most importantly totally powerless to influence my world at home as it unraveled.  On the way to Nara I remember a distinct feeling that I never ever wanted to get off of the train. I wanted total freedom and wished I had packed lighter. Sometimes I wished that I hadn’t planned everything so thoroughly on my trip. If only I could stay on this train, be in transit forever until I die, I would never have to face the world.

Nara is a really charming little town. I wish that I had been more present to enjoy it. The main attraction is the Deer Park. I felt sad looking at them. There were so many tourists trying to get pictures and feed them. It wasn’t natural.

That day I actually drank alone, which is I think maybe the only time I’ve ever done that in my life. The best thing was that my hostel was amazing and there was only one other guest, which is a fucking treat in Japan. It was really simple, clean and had a sliding door to give me total privacy. Although I felt depressed, powerless, heartbroken, I felt calm and nurtured in a weird way just because the privacy was exactly what I needed. I drank, watched Netflix, showered and passed out.

Here’s a picture of my unruly unpredictable ridiculous hair.